There are plenty of stories that detail how your parenting style can affect your child’s health. But what impact can it have on you as parents? Did it ever occur to you that feelings of anxiety or illness may be due to your upbringing?
Let’s show you the three most common ways parents raise their children, including their consequences for your health.
These parents constantly feel the need to save their children. If their children forget to dump at home for training or do not write their homework, the parents will start. They take matters into their own hands and do everything instead of the children. At the same time, they are parents who tend to “hover” over their children in the park and apply disinfection to them at 30-minute intervals so that they do not accidentally become infected by something.
These moms and dads come from families whose members were probably constantly in control, and anxiety could be cut there. They are often perfectionists who put crazy pressure on themselves and look at their child as a reflection of their own success.
It is definitely not a healthy environment, as this pressure puts you at risk of developing depression and burnout. Uncontrolled anxiety has been associated with a number of long-term physical health problems. For all of them, we name gastrointestinal problems (nauzea, diarrhea), insomnia and heart disease. It also has a negative effect on your immunity. It increases the likelihood that you will become infected with a virus just because you are nervous about your child getting sick.
So what to do differently next time? When you feel the moment is coming when you want to save your offspring, try to stop. Feel free to take a step back. Think about what you yourself experienced as a child. It is very likely that you went to buy rolls, for example, and forgot your money, or you fell and chopped your knee. What about what? There was bread instead of rolls for dinner, and the knee healed after a while.
Another way to quell anxiety is to ask your good friend, who has almost always been able to give you good advice on what she would do if she were you. For example, you’re figuring out whether you can leave your 8-year-old son alone at home for 30 minutes and come pick up your 4-year-old daughter from kindergarten. It is very likely that your friend will assure you that it is completely normal and safe to leave an eight-year-old child for half an hour. This practice helps you to be less emotionally reactive while at the same time getting logical thinking to the forefront.
Don’t be afraid to let your kids make mistakes. If you can’t resist the urge to constantly enter and save their lives, you’re showing them a disassade. They won’t know what to do when you’re not on their asses. They also don’t learn to toughest from their failures or from difficult life situations.
But if you can get away from it, it will mean that you will become proud of your offspring and also feel a kind of liberation, peace and less stress. And you’ll probably get better immunity, too.
It’s an old classic: a parent knows best, a parent is a god. Most penalties are imposed. If a child wants to hear a reason why they have to do something, a common argument is, “Because I told you so.” Educational styles are mostly transmitted from generation to generation, especially this one. Basically, it’s possible that a parent is retaliate against their child for what they had to endure on their own. He doesn’t want to give him any relief because he’s had such a hard time.
Sometimes anxiety can be to blame again. Parents may be worried that allowing their children to choose what they want might be too provocative. That way, they get ordered, and parents don’t have to worry about kids doing something their own way. So they can’t screw anything up, they can’t hurt themselves. And parents can rest easy.
You won’t be surprised that parents often get angry with this educational style, succumb very quickly to anger and negative emotions, which can have a far-reaching impact on their health. As soon as their anger gets out of control, the following primitive reaction is triggered. The heart begins to beat faster, the muscles begin to contract, and the blood veers away from the stomach and digestive system to the limbs.
In earlier times, when a man met a saber-toothed tiger, such a reaction was desirable and useful, because it was life-threatening. But when today your “modern” nervous system activates in this way several times a day, the result is a damaged health.
If you realize when and how your anger will start, or the moment when anger-inducing thoughts are born in you, you can capture them and try to prevent a well-known primitive reaction from triggering you.
What to do next? Stop, sit down and take a deep breath. You can start counting from 10 to 1. Why is it important to sit down or lay down? Because your brain interprets these positions as safe and relaxing. This interrupts the flow of angry-induced chemical compounds. Once you sit in a chair, it’s almost impossible to feel as angry as standing. At the same time, your brain switches from the right emotional hemisphere to the left, analytical.
This style of Parenting is not be confused with authoratative parenting.
A way of raising children worldwide considered healthy, because it gives children space to explore and test, but at the same time there are limits, i.e. rules. Parents are warm and emotionally available, they are interested in their children.
A father and a mother try to show respect for their child and be kind to him through positive discipline. What does that mean? For example, if a child refuses to wear a jacket despite being told several times, parents get on the same level as the child and ask him something like, “You seem to have some problem wearing a jacket. Is there anything I can do to help?”
In parenting, where there is trust and balance, it helps you build your own self-confidence. Studies have shown that people who believe in self-esteem have adequate self-esteem, tend to be healthier and live longer than those who have low self-esteem.
Healthy self-esteem and optimism are protection against depression. In addition, positive emotions are beneficial not only for your soul and mind, but also for your organism as a whole. This type of parenting can also reduce the level of anxiety, because thanks to it you know quite a lot about your children. So you don’t live in the uncertainty of what they’re doing, where they are, etc.
Some mothers confided that they and their husbands had gone from authoritarian to positive. Previously, they often spent time talking about the responsibilities and consequences of not fulfilling them. Later, on the contrary, they focused on building a deeper connection with children.
Parents agree that this change has helped them in that they are more patient, less irritated and, above all, have a much better relationship with their children.
If you decide to switch from one parenting style to another, be patient. At first, the situation is likely to get worse, which is a natural reaction of all of you to changes in the established order.
However, after a few months, when everything stabilizes, the first results should be seen. You should all be calmer, more balanced and happier.